Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize