I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
