One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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