I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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