You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
