im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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