We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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