Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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