oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
