I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
