That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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