Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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