whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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