I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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