She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
