its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
