i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
