i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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