So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
