sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
