so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
