Whod you bang
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
