I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
