And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize