I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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