And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
