I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
