do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
