the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
