Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
