I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He passed out mid-signature
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
