i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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