Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
