Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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