we have officially lost it.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
