So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
