he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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