I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
