apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
