I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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