FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
