Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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