i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
