And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
