if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
