I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
