i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
