too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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