Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
