I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
