just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
