I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
