just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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