Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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