So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I want to fling myself into the sun
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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