are you so shy because you have an std?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
