where am i from again
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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