Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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