i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
