I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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