We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
