my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
