This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
