I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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