why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
