marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
